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Hi! I'm Petra Boynton.
I'm a sex researcher with over 10 years experience. My PhD is on porn (truly!), assessing the effects of sex in the media. I train health professionals to talk about sex, and advise a number of organisations like the Family Planning Association, and BBC World Service on sex coverage. I've a regular telephone sex phone in on the BBC, and write several columns on sex and relationships. |
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| Umm, my boyfriend really wants me to give him a blowjob and I want to do it but I’m worried I’m going to screw it up or do something silly! Do I do it? Or do I say no? What should I do? G x |
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| Do you want to do it? Aside from worrying you could do something wrong, do you feel excited about the idea of doing it – does it turn you on? If the thought of it is a turn off then you don’t have to do it. If you feel like it could be sexy then it’s not too difficult. Basically when he is erect (or beforehand if you like) you can lick and kiss his penis and balls. Then take the tip of his penis in your mouth and gently suck it. You can then move your mouth up and down over his penis so you take more of him in your mouth. He’ll most likely want to watch as you do this. You can’t be expected to be a mind reader here so ask him to tell you what he likes. This should be a turn on for you and give you confidence and will mean you won’t do it ‘wrong’. If you are worried about him coming in your mouth you can use a flavoured condom (probably a good idea anyway), or ask him to tell you when he’s coming so you can move your head away. You don’t have to have him come in your mouth if you don’t want to. You can hold the base of his penis when you give him a blow job so you control his penis going into your mouth. If he starts thrusting in a way you don’t like tell him it’s not turning you on. Have a shower together first if you’re worried about any hygiene issues. And see how you get on. If you don’t enjoy it then you don’t have to do it again. Explain to him that you’re going to see what it’s like, but this isn’t a promise you’ll keep on doing it unless you like the experience. Not every girl likes giving a blowjob, so don’t feel bad if you don’t like it. |
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