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thechickenhouse
Advanced Member
Australia
22252 Posts |
 Posted - 04/01/2007 : 00:03:22
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*Dora call's Will to join us for lunch*
Dora: Were coming into Chadstone now, white car, ooh, is that you walking?? were the white car .... yeah, I knwo theres lots of white ones ....
*I grab the phone off her*
Me: The one with the suspicious looking back seat
Will: OH!! I see you, the white ford right?? With the leg hanging out the window??
Me: Oh ***, I didnt realise that *I move my leg*
Jacqui: Hey Kira, I just realised, your leg is out the window
Me: Well thanks for that Jacqui
(there were 4 of us in the backseat of a small car)
*Jacqui is on the phone to her mum*
Jacqui: No, Manica drove us... no, drove, not bus... MUM, DROVE, LIKE THIS *walks around in a circle pretending to steer a car*
Trish: She cant see you Jacqui
Will: If I burnt down your school, your school wouldnt be there
Me: Well no *** einstein
Dora: Hey Monica, are you and Phil married yet??
Phil: WHAT??
Monica: Well that didnt make the conversation awkward at all...
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?guesswho?
Average Member
896 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2007 : 01:49:33
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Ok so some of these might not make any sense at all, but I think they're all hysterically funny...
*walking in school with S past the year 9s*
To the year 9: "You look like a fish. Remember that."
"Violence is the only answer...honestly"
*she kept poking me so I grabbed her finger*
"Heeeey! That's MY finger!"
H:Can I get a woop woop?!
Me:Um...no
H:Aaw. But I want one!
*Doing Catherine Tate impersonation*
S:Am I bovvered?
H:Um...yeah I think you are.
By our english teacher pretending he was Lady Macbeth, talking about Macbeth: Sometimes I beat him with a frying pan.
*On the bus*
D: Oh no! My headphones are stuck on my duck!
*Everyone turns round to look at us*
*In science learning about insectisides n stuff*
Yes class, its hard core pea porn.
*Standing in the hall*
"HWAAAAAAAAAAAAANG"
...we were pretending we had lightsabers...
*Underlines title*
D:My God
Me:What?
D:The line! Its just so straight!
Me:Wow...imagine a ruler doing that.
*sticks hands up in the air*
HELP! I'm stuck in a glass box!
D:I have to check if anyones in the shower before I go to the toilet.
D:Theres a hippo in the sky!!
Me:Look at that cloud.
D:Which?
Me: The white one!
Me:I have glue on my arm...
D:Its Dan!
H:Woot is good. Toow is bad, coz its opposite.
Lil boy in street: Give it back or I'll murderen you!
Ok so there was no need to say all that but I'm bored so...meh. |
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nicensweet19
Senior Member
United Kingdom
1164 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2007 : 02:00:42
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oh yes got another 1
we were doing that "telly addicts" dvd thing at my mum's mates house , and me my mum and my dad were on a team , and there were 4 men on the screen, each takin up a quater of the square
Dad:ooh i think i recognise that guy, he was in that thing a few week ago
me:which guy
Dad:the 1 in the corner
me:which corner?
dad:THE corner
me: DAD! THERES 4 CORNERS! WHICH CORNER!
dad: o right, top left
that kind of made me laf [:D] |
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thechickenhouse
Advanced Member
Australia
22252 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2007 : 03:04:34
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quote:
[i]Originally posted by ?guesswho?[/i]
[br]
D:I have to check if anyones in the shower before I go to the toilet.
See... that one actually makes sense... |
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californicated
Senior Member
1223 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2007 : 16:14:08
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this is really good thread!
G - "Did you know that Madagascar's an actual place, they didn't just make it up for the film?"
C - "I feel like a pain au chocolat."
Me - "What, literally?"
C - [sarcastically] "Yeah i'm all flakey."
J - “He isn’t gay, he just likes to touch stuff!”
Me – “So you’d rather be famous than clever?”
L – “Hell yes!”
Science teacher - "What's the difference between mitosis and meiosis?"
L - "They're spelled differently?"
C - "I've got 3 New years Resolutions: stop swearing, be more positive and be nicer to Anna."
Me - "How's that going?"
C - [sarcastically] "I don't fu//cking care, my life's fu//cking pointless. I might just commit fu//cking suicide before Anna starts talking to me again."
L – “St. Petroc’s dead? I thought he was still alive!”
K – “Oh my god! He’s a proper gangsta!”
My boss – “The cookies are sold out.”
Chav kid – “How come?”
My boss – “Because people bought them.”
E - "What's 'highlighter' in French?"
R - "Un style de highlighter."
Me - "Loving the authentic French."
R - "Yeah, i've been speaking Franglais all through the holidays ... i even forgot how to speak English at one point."
F - “Happiness is just trendy nowadays.” |
Edited by - californicated on 04/01/2007 16:15:38 |
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silver ribbons
Senior Member
United Kingdom
1880 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2007 : 19:33:42
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Haha... In RS me and a friend write a 'book' of all the stupid things our friend Nick says. Bear in mind he's a boy..
These are the best ones:
"Condoms are only 99% effective. That means if you have sex 100 times, you'll end up with AT LEAST one baby."
"What's ovulation?"
Teacher: "If you were pregnant, would you go to your parents about it?"
N: "Yes."
"What's a spoon?"
"Arghhh! FACTICLES!" (Translation- "Ahh, that tickles")
"Voldemort's not real"
"I want to die eating Parma-Violets"
"What the hell am i grabbing? ...Eww, why is it all wet?" (At 5am at a sleepover.)
The only good drunken quotes i can remember are "I think i'm George Michael! (Me) and "The Russians are coming to stay!" (Lette)
Awesome.
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frances farmer
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
7779 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2007 : 19:48:18
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quote:
[i]Originally posted by silver ribbons[/i]
Teacher: "If you were pregnant, would you go to your parents about it?"
N: "Yes."
That made me spill soup on the floor..agh..now it's staining! |
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Leigh-Babe
Advanced Member
2955 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2007 : 19:51:24
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L : Einstien...is that the guy with bolts in his neck?
Me: No, that's Frankenstien.
L : Oh, I though Frank was his first name and Einstien was his second name. |
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lalalaLAUREN
Senior Member
Togo
1523 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2007 : 21:13:52
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After the welsh grand slam
Lauren (not me): I had a grand slam party on Saturday
Lisa: I didn't know you like wrestling!.
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Lovely-Lena
Average Member
United Kingdom
829 Posts |
Posted - 05/01/2007 : 17:39:12
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Ally: So how many countries are in the G8? Is it 50 or something?
Me: No, there are 8.
Ally: Are you sure i thought there were more.
Me: No Ally, why do you think it's called the G8?
Ally: I dunno, i just thought that was it's name.
Me: It's not a person.
Ally: Well i want to pretend it is, infact it's my best friend.
Me: Ally?
Ally: Yes.
ME: Shut up.
Probably not that funny, but it was hilarious at the time. |
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Silly Quotes From Your Friends!
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