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zutonfever
Advanced Member
    
South Sandwich Islands
8738 Posts |
Posted - 12/03/2007 : 17:52:36
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Hannah: We should get all of our parents to meet up one evening so they can chat about our holiday
Me: Oooh yeh thats a good idea they can have a little bond with eacother, my mum loves bondage...
Everyone: FITS OF LAUGHTER
Me: OMG I MEAN BONDING! MY MUM DOESNT LIKE BONDAGE! |
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xxbumbumsxx
Junior Member
 
328 Posts |
Posted - 13/03/2007 : 15:28:29
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Twiggy.
Junior Member
 
United Kingdom
451 Posts |
Posted - 13/03/2007 : 16:19:17
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D is poking B with a metal rod that had fallen out of the ceiling and B bit it. D - Eurgh as if you put that in your mouth... B - [to G] Where's it from? G - It's bit of the ceiling D - ...Anyone could have piissed on it.
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thebirdsaidcoo
Advanced Member
    
United Kingdom
7364 Posts |
Posted - 13/03/2007 : 21:03:39
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You've all seen those adverts about how teenagers are killed everyday crossing the road right? The one where its playing out a film trailer?
E: Ah wow I'm so gonna see that D: Its not a real film you know? E: It is all my friends have seen it and they said it was excellent.
A: Oh dominatrix, thats the cartoon version of the matrix right?
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thechickenhouse
Advanced Member
    
Australia
22159 Posts |
Posted - 14/03/2007 : 08:39:36
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Me: So, hang on, how did you split your knee?? Alek: I got into a boat Mark: And...?? Alek: I was wearing rollerblades...
Mark: I know a couple of vegetarians and their faces look like theyre melting Me: Does my face look like its melting?? Mark: YOURE VEGETARIAN?? Me: Im vegan Mark: Oh, I was wondering why you only eat vegan food...
*talking about Sylvester Stallone and how he's been arrested in Australia for attempting to smuggle in literally, crates of growth hormones* James: Look, maybe the media is blowing it all out of proportion, he's probably just a drug dealer or something... Me: Yeah, thats so much better... James: Oh yeah, drug dealers are bad too arent they??
James: Im not going to touch your pectorals, because youre a girl and all... |
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kat---x
Starting Member
12 Posts |
Posted - 14/03/2007 : 18:22:13
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i came into the living room, and my brother was watching t.v with the sub-titles on.
me: why have you got the subtitles on? brother: *just looks at me* me: are you blind? is that why?
he takes the p..iss all the time now. |
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.NowOrNever.
New Member

69 Posts |
Posted - 14/03/2007 : 19:43:43
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Well my mum isn't really my friend, but never mind.
Me: Mum, you got me the wrong book. I play bass guitar, not guitar. Mum: *Looks blank* Me: There's a difference. Mum: There is??? Me: Well yeah. Hadn't you wondered why Dan's (my brother) guitar has six strings, and my bass has four? Mum: No....should I? *Goes and looks at our guitars* Oh my god, you're right. So there is a difference between guitars and bass guitars. Me: Yes.
Probably not as funny as I think it is. But my mum just has these random blonde moments. Makes me laugh.
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~*Chole*~
Senior Member
   
United Kingdom
1470 Posts |
Posted - 14/03/2007 : 21:13:54
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sam: your head's out of proportion to your body. like, you look at your head and it's really big and then you look at your legs and they're really short me: (stunned silence) sam: in a cool way
sam: there's a bin there me: er..yeah, there is
sam: what's elphee's last name? (elphee is his last name and it's what everyone calls him)
chemistry teacher (to guy in my class): you just looked like you were on c..rack, your eyes went all funny! |
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Stupid Kid
Junior Member
 
United Kingdom
423 Posts |
Posted - 14/03/2007 : 22:20:19
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Gwen Stefani is playing on the radio.
Friend's Mom: Is this Stefan? Friend: ...What?
I know it's from me, but I look back on it and can't believe I just said it for no reason.
Me: Imagine if you kicked a really s'l'u't't'y girl in the crotch and your foot got stuck in her vagina.
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[[Tropicana]]
Junior Member
 
United Kingdom
187 Posts |
Posted - 15/03/2007 : 09:33:38
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My mate 'Did You just Hear What I Said?'
Me (im in a really bad mood) 'LOOK you cant expect me to hear everything you say'
My Mate - 'Just said that you trod in dog shiit but oh well'
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Me ' I hate things that are 99p means i have to get a quid out to recieve a penny'
My Mate ' Well just think you only have to spend £99 to recieve a whole £1'
*she got so excited that she worked that out till i told her that she'd only have a £1 not £100* lol |
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