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RaeLeW
Junior Member
United Kingdom
126 Posts |
 Posted - 28/02/2007 : 20:19:41
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In order from last night.
I was eating a fruit salad.
D: What are you eating?
Me: Fruit
D: No what are you eating?
Me: Fruit
D: What are you eating?
E: Fruit
D: I said what are you eating?
T: Fruit!
D: *looking mad* What. Are. You. Eating!
M & B: FRUIT
D: Stop calling me gay, Rae tell me what you’re eating!
^^ He was really serious about it.
And whilst I’m making breakfast this morning, Dan put a tea towel into my jeans – so it sort of looks like an apron. Because the only cooking he’s done is in food tech and you always had to wear aprons.
Me: *to my mums* Who’s driving this morning
Both: Your mother
T: Wow, that’s like the best way to confuddle someone… you’re both her mother aren’t you?
Kathy (mum): Well what do you expect a mother a piece of toast
M: my mum makes me toast.
Me: Who’s driving?
Renee (other mum): whoever can find the... ummm… uhh… whojamahflippies.
T: But like you’re both mouse’s grandma’s…
Me: *seeing how sane he is* Lee and Charlie (my brothers) are both her uncles
T: WOW, HOW AMAZING IS THAT! No, wait, ow… I thunk too much. I’m shushing now.
Renee: Where are the whojahmaflippies?
Me: In the thingy
Kathy: Don’t you damn well dare start that again I’ll cry… (another post on page 12/3 explains this).
Paul: Where’s mouse (what my guy friends call my daughter)?
B: Umm I don’t know
E: You lost mouse, I’m not telling Rae
J: yeah she hurts when she’s mad
T: Or happy
M: or PMS’ing
Paul: Or.. we lost the baby… guys where is she?
*start looking round the living room for a five minutes before noticing, I’m watching them, and holding my daughter*
Me: How are you? *always ask him wehn I'm going into class not sure why*
Paul: Brum Brum
Me: You're a... car?
Paul: Beep beep
Me: It's having a car that gets you laid not being one
Paul: Brum brum... *walks into class* Beep beep
Teacher: Is this what all teenage boys do when they aren't getting any?
Kyeah: So how was the sleepover
Paul: Usual, drink, drugs, orgies
Kyeah: Rae?
Me: Baby wipes, sugar, pizza, nursery rhymes and fruit
Dan: I’m not gay! |
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LowriLulu
Senior Member
United Kingdom
1157 Posts |
Posted - 28/02/2007 : 23:02:00
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Lydia: Being a guy for the day would be so ace. I'd masturbate all day - it's so much easier for boys!
Not really that funny, but me and my friends were in hysterics![:p] |
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thechickenhouse
Advanced Member
Australia
22313 Posts |
Posted - 01/03/2007 : 08:00:29
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From my first aid/CPR course today:
Instructor: You ALWAYS aid the person not breathing first
Robert: I work at a pool and they told me to help the not dead person, because they dont like having alot of dead people in the pool at once
Instructor: Well, ideally you wouldnt have any dead people
Robert: Yeah, thats what I said, but they dont like dead people in the pool for some reason
Luke: Seriously, just stop there, youre going nowhere
Robert: Why would I be going somewhere?? Im in class
Instructor: Uhh, you two, are you sharing the same mouth cover??
Ari: Its okay, she's my girlfriend, im always sucking on her face
Kirsty: Im so lucky to have such a romantic boyfriend
Kirsty: Can we swap places?? PLEASE
Me: If you think its entirely nessacery
Ari: Dont do it, she'll start doing things to you
*doing scenario work, our scenario was a roof tiler had slipped and fallen off the roof and has lower poralysis*
Me: Potential hazards??
Ari: The ladder, it could fall
Me: Or tiles, they could fall off the roof
Ari: Maybe he's diabetic?? Give him 6-8 jellybeans
Kirsty: Uh... no
*on the same scenario*
Ari: Get a shotgun and put him out of his misery *bites Kirsty*
Instructor: No, and did you just bite her??
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Edited by - thechickenhouse on 01/03/2007 08:01:53 |
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erato.
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
4081 Posts |
Posted - 01/03/2007 : 10:40:39
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| Chicken they sound like the strangest couple ever... |
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thechickenhouse
Advanced Member
Australia
22313 Posts |
Posted - 01/03/2007 : 11:07:03
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| Hah, I know, theyre insane. And theyre in my class fo the next two months, so its gonna be a fun-filled two months. |
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silver ribbons
Senior Member
United Kingdom
1880 Posts |
Posted - 01/03/2007 : 12:19:48
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"You smell like Haven caravans."
Best compliment ever. |
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XrandomXrockerX
Senior Member
United Kingdom
1682 Posts |
Posted - 01/03/2007 : 20:46:08
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i can't really think of any right now...but here's a few for now:
Me: how fast does a porsche do 0-60?
Matt: Depends what kind of porsche
me: Oh right, of course...a blue one then!
Art teacher: you cud draw any kind of tree...lemon tree, ape tree, orange tree
Me *quietly to Jo*: I thought oranges grew underground...
Jo *loudly, as teacher asks for quiet*: ARE YOU FROM PLANET STUPID!?
Teacher: What was that Joanne?
Jo: Oh, Kim thought oranges grew underground...
Class: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
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thechickenhouse
Advanced Member
Australia
22313 Posts |
Posted - 01/03/2007 : 21:39:00
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Just remembered another great quote from yesterday
Trainer: You dont have to fill out this booklet if you are re-newing your course
Ari: Do you have a computer or something to check us on if weve dont the course?? Or will you just believe us if we say we have??
Robert: Oh, gee, that dosent sound suspicious at all |
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starlightk
Advanced Member
2755 Posts |
Posted - 01/03/2007 : 21:46:11
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Okay, we had an 'enterprise day' at school today where we had to dress business-like and work in 'companies' (aka groups of eight) in our whole year and come up with a product. Well Mike's team came up with straighteners and hairdryer in one for when you're on-the-go.
Anyway he was answering the questions on his group's presentation and someone asked it how it would be powered:
M: Well it's powered by little pouches of gas that you make a spark with and it powers it.
Questioner: What do you do if you get halfway through your hair and the gas runs out?
M: You just bring another packet with you
Questioner: What if you need more than two packets?
M: You can get more. Or you could just bring more with you. (moment of realisation) ...Though having packets of gas in your pocket might be a bit of a bad idea.
Questioner (now my science teacher): So what sort of gas does it run on? From a scientific point of view, of course?
M: (looks confused since he's been making it up as he goes along) Errm, well you burn tin cans....
Surprisingly his team didn't win.
(My team did =D)
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ParalysedSleep
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3068 Posts |
Posted - 01/03/2007 : 21:54:32
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My mam earlier:
"I'll always believe in Jesus, even if I found out he was a man." |
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Silly Quotes From Your Friends!
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