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thechickenhouse
Advanced Member
Australia
22159 Posts |
 Posted - 21/02/2007 : 06:19:34
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Eileen: Yeah, he drove me home
Me: Did he pick you up aswell??
Eileen: No, I dont want him knowing where I live
Me: Uh...
Eileen: Oh ***. |
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silver ribbons
Senior Member
United Kingdom
1877 Posts |
Posted - 23/02/2007 : 23:46:20
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My old driving instructor Brian was the funniest guy i've ever met.
(Winds down his window when i drive past a group of people at the side of the road, putting his fingers in a cross)
B: Don't worry Kate! I'll protect you from the Mormons!
B: So i went to Alison's house the other night to help her fit her new shower, and she told me we should shower together. Well what could i say?
B: Sex is a great way to cure a headache. Remember that next time you have a headache, Kate.
B: This one time at Bible Camp i was caught in bed with 2 nurses...
B: This bloke in the army used to sleep naked. I never slept naked back then but i do now.
B: So, we put this guys bed on top of a wardrobe...
(Gets out a piece of paper and flaps it around my face as i'm driving)
B: Look, the table was like this, and then it folded out...like this! Look Kate, look at this table! *Nudges me*
Me: I think i should look at the road instead.
(About a chopped up tree at the side of the road)
B: Oh, tree fell down.
(Sees his ex-wife walking down the road)
B: Let go of the wheel Kate! Give it to me! Let's mow her down!
B: The Da Vinci Code was my idea first.
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thechickenhouse
Advanced Member
Australia
22159 Posts |
Posted - 24/02/2007 : 07:31:23
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Yesterday morning I was woken up by my brother who was in the bathroom talking loudly.
Daniel: Good morning Mr.Toothbrush, it appears we ahve two types of toothpaste, Colgate Total and Colgate Advance Frech with whitening strips. Which would you like to use today??
Hmm... normal behaviour for a 14yr old?? |
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silver ribbons
Senior Member
United Kingdom
1877 Posts |
Posted - 24/02/2007 : 09:53:30
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My RS teacher, Mr. Fudge, who is about 40 and quite odd looking, recently got his head shaved.
N: "Apart from the PE teachers, Mr. Fudge is the fittest teacher in school."
I almost choked when he said that.
Mr.F: "Today we're looking at the three positions of determinism, two of which are hard and soft... What are you all laughing about?"
(After that, our teacher went out of his way to say things in a dirty way, and the whole lesson was one big conversation about sex.)
(In a quaker house)
L: "This place smells of God."
N: "I feel like a German tourist."
There was one lesson when our teacher made sex noises to the class.
Mr.F: "I used to be a stoner, man, but then i saw the angels and i saw the light; the path to righteousness."
Ahhh, RS is such fun. |
Edited by - silver ribbons on 24/02/2007 09:55:49 |
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x-Lickle-Jess-x
Junior Member
208 Posts |
Posted - 24/02/2007 : 15:02:31
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german
ma m8 vicky sed i thort belguim was in germany ? |
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nicensweet19
Senior Member
United Kingdom
1158 Posts |
Posted - 24/02/2007 : 15:56:04
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| hehehehe some of these things are really funny |
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starlightk
Advanced Member
2755 Posts |
Posted - 24/02/2007 : 16:08:32
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quote:
[i]Originally posted by x-Lickle-Jess-x[/i]
[br]german
ma m8 vicky sed i thort belguim was in germany ?
We had something similar in history.
Meg: "So the Irish went to Belgium?"
Sir: "BELFAST, Megan."
Meg: "Where's Belgium then?"
Hannah: "Near Germany"
Meg: (changing track) "Melissa, does that mean you're German?"
Me: "She's from Holland. That makes her DUTCH"
Meg: "But it's the same thing...."
I near enough failed Geography, and even I understand the difference between Belgim, Belfast, Holland and Germany!
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snazzo.
Starting Member
38 Posts |
Posted - 25/02/2007 : 02:59:45
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i got the spongebob theme song stuck in my head and when i was in the car i started singing it with my mom.
she doesnt know the lyrics so she made them up
me: are you ready kids?
mom: Aye... Aye.... CAPTAIN
me: i cant hear you
mom: AYEAYEAYE CAPTAIN
me: oh who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
mom: its the lizard that lives in the pineapple under the sea
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bella_tomato_:)
Advanced Member
Malta
2222 Posts |
Posted - 25/02/2007 : 14:02:18
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last night, the moon was covered with clouds and it looked so creepy :
me : ooh look at that!
karen : duh katia, that's the sun
me : erm.. actaully its the moon
karen : NO it's the s.... ok it's the moon
.. ok maybe it's not that funny... |
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Unexpected.
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
4789 Posts |
Posted - 25/02/2007 : 14:17:05
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Background info: James S is a COMPLETE fusspot, everything has to be tidy and you're not allowed to touch things or "throw things around" that includes passing the remote to someone by the way...
Anyway me, Mel, Grey and Will were in James' and as usual he was being a fusspot.
James: "I hate Sundays, that's the day when I have to tidy everything up..."
*blank looks from everyone else while sitting in a spotless living room*
Grey : "Wait, if you're going to tidy up on Sunday ANYWAY, why can't we all just make a mess now?"
James : "Because that's stupid. That's like saying 'I'm gonna go and sh|t on your dad's car because he'll be washing it tomorrow anyway"
Grey : "Feel free"
Cue a whole lecture from James on why it doesn't MATTER whether Grey's dad will be washing his car, it's innapropriate to sh|t on it...
You probably had to be there. |
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Silly Quotes From Your Friends!
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