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frances farmer
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
7779 Posts |
 Posted - 04/02/2007 : 18:37:41
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| Vicke: "Don't touch that building, you don't know where its been!" |
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i*luv*spongebob
Senior Member
United Kingdom
1027 Posts |
Posted - 04/02/2007 : 18:40:35
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I was helping a friend with her math homework:
Me: So you know what a 3 Dimensional shape is, yeah...
S: It's a shape that has three sides, so basically, its a triangle. |
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iluvswfc
Senior Member
1580 Posts |
Posted - 04/02/2007 : 18:49:52
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When we were discussing breast cancer, my sister one referreed to a masectomy as a vasectomy.
And she said the other day that peole who don't do enough exercise get 'obesed'!
And called a steak and ALE pie a steak and AL one!!
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ParalysedSleep
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3011 Posts |
Posted - 04/02/2007 : 20:25:50
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My broher in law Kyle is in a rather philosophical phase lately.
Me: I'm feeling like some carrot cake
Kyle: How do you know you're not the carrot cake, and you're feeling like some Kate?
I got very confused. |
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thechickenhouse
Advanced Member
Australia
22175 Posts |
Posted - 04/02/2007 : 22:46:35
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Eileen: Okay, so whats your knife policy??
Me: Sorry??
Eileen: Can you use the same knife for the butter and the vegemite??
Me: Hmm... see, I say yes
Chryssa: NO! You get margarine in the vegemite and it goes offishbr />Me: NOT IF YOU ScrudE ALL THE MARGARINE OFfishbr />Chryssa: THATS NOT THE POINT, TWO SEPEARATE KNIVES
Me: THEN WE WILL USE UP ALL THE KNIVES AND I'LL HAVE TO WASH THEM
Chryssa: YOURE SO CHILDISH
Me: YOURE SUCH AN IDIOT
Shanlee: The vegemite is in a squeezy tube f..uckheads, you cant put a knife in it.
Me and Chryssa: Oh. |
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snazzo.
Starting Member
38 Posts |
Posted - 05/02/2007 : 02:56:13
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my parents and i sat at the table for some calamari and other stuff.
and my mom goes
mom: this is good
me: yeah, it is.
mom: look at the octopus! i see the testicals
me: excuse me?
mom: testicals, the testicals?
me: tentacles mom, tentacles. |
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machete
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
4339 Posts |
Posted - 05/02/2007 : 16:23:35
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| G-"Jesus... Moses.. the Bible in general, its really just a mepaphor for me" |
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bella_tomato_:)
Advanced Member
Malta
2223 Posts |
Posted - 07/02/2007 : 11:48:49
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| 'look at the clouds, they're like straightened hair' |
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A Butterfly
Senior Member
1088 Posts |
Posted - 07/02/2007 : 12:51:13
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At a pub with my Polish boyfriend and best friend:
Annie: "So, how long have you been in Ireland for?"
Robert: "I think its.... two and a half years now"
Annie: "Wow, your english is REALLY good for that length of time!"
Robert: "Really? You think so?"
Annie:
"................?
..............?
..............? WHAT??!!! Meg, what'd he say??"
Funny because she wasn't joking.
In Topshop, the power suddenly went. Everyone screamed, then there was a silence in which Annie yells "Hueston, we haaave a problem! NOW LETS LOOT THE HELL OUT OF THIS KIP!"
Me: "A great career for you would be as a gynocologist"
James: "What?? But I don't even LIKE vaginas!" (he's straight)
Me "We're really bad at this!"
Annie "I am, or you is?"
Me "WE is."
What perfect grammer.
S: "Have you seen the Passion of the Christ?"
Her granny: "No, what happens in the end?"
In maths class Thomas turns to me and says dreamily:
"Have you ever differenciated something soooo hard its come true...?"
Looking at a wall of photos:
Andy "Do you see that one?" Making no gesture to point out which he was looking at.
"....WHICH one andy?
"The one above the one with the green thing with the massive ears"
(That was a photo of a brown deer, with huge ANTLERS!
Tom: "Andy, why are you making that expression?" (He was frowning)
Andy "I can't help it if I have a face!"
Reaching for a coke on a SHELF in a supermarket.
Andy "Don't get THAT one!"
D: "Why not?"
"Get a cold one from the back"
At a gig
Singer: "Fine, I think we'll just have a 5 minute gap in which all you A'S'S'HOLES SHOUT WHAT YOU WANT AT ME! Come on you pr'i'c'ks. You're so obnoxious. YOU'RE whats wrong with society."
Annie: "TAKE YOUR TROUSERS OFF!"
Guy trying to mug me:
"Give us yer phone yeh bi't'c'h!"
"Oh look, whats that?" points to the sky.
Guy looks. I step on the bus and see him turning around to where I was, looking confused. |
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thechickenhouse
Advanced Member
Australia
22175 Posts |
Posted - 07/02/2007 : 22:12:53
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(A little background. In Melbourne at the moment theres alot on the news about the Siemans brand of trains, they keep overshooting the platform because the brakes are faulty, and they all have to be replaced with the old trains from the 70's, which I HATE by the way, the seats are all falling apart and they smell funny.)
Chryssa: Kira, whats aloe vera water??
Me: Its like water with stuff floating in it
Chryssa: Like sperm??
Me: Yeah, all supermarkets stock 2ltr bottles of semen nowadays
Chryssa: How can you put a train in a bottle?? |
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Silly Quotes From Your Friends!
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