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**choc4life**
Junior Member
 
311 Posts |
Posted - 28/01/2007 : 19:36:14
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| ''im so collllllllddd'' and she was holding her coat |
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starlightk
Advanced Member
    
2755 Posts |
Posted - 28/01/2007 : 22:00:23
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At the cinema:
Joe: "Eurgh, Jenni's cheeks are all leathery" Me: "What?!" Gail: "No, they're soft as a baby's bum..." Joe: "Have you felt a baby's bum?" David: "My mum used to kiss my bum ... like in the adverts"
Sat in the cinema waiting for our lift home, and staring at a 'Charlotte's Web' movie poster.
David: Cedric the Entertainer? Who's he? Joe: "A guy in the movie..." Vicki: "Oprah's in it too" Gail: "Oprah's amazing!" Vicki: "And Dakota Fanning" Gail: "HA! Fanning..."
We're all sitting in David's mum's seven-seater car. The two people sat either side of me had both been dropped off home.
Me: "Aww, now I'm all on my own." Joe: "We're like a dice" Nick: "With five dots" Me: "Yeah 'coz we were like a seven sided dice before .... oh."
Again, in the car:
David's mum: "Stop being so pedantic, David" Me: "Yeah David" ... (whispered) "What's pedantic mean?" Nick: "It's like when the glass is half ... full?" Me: "Noo, that's pessemistic." Nick: "So what's the other one?" Me: "Optomistic, you remember because the 'O' is like a sunshine...(trails off as everyone is looking at me strangely).
They are a LOT funnier when you're on a sugar-high. Promise. |
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ICEY-BREEZE
Senior Member
   
1780 Posts |
Posted - 28/01/2007 : 22:45:06
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jaine: you prune jaine: go home, just go home.
my friend asia oferd me some straberry tart she'd cooked in food tech and accodently put her finger in it. me: no thanks i dont like fingerd tarts.
my friends ill for a few days janie: what do you thinks wrong with tara me: she turned into a banana, i eat her janie: omg u lessbian |
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thechickenhouse
Advanced Member
    
Australia
22313 Posts |
Posted - 29/01/2007 : 00:00:59
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Cath: Hey Kira, I have the best idea Me: mmm?? Cath: You know how Shan's 18 on Sunday?? Well, we should go to a club at around 10 on Saturday night, and leave Shan outside, then when it strikes midnight, leave and do something PG-13 Me: Thats a great idea Shanlee: YEAH!! SHE'LL BE SO poorED OFF!! Me and Cath: Err?? Shanlee: Oh wait... NO. THATS MEAN. |
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prettyinpunk1
Advanced Member
    
Jamaica
8525 Posts |
Posted - 29/01/2007 : 13:45:11
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hmm
i remember one time when we were poored and we were all sitting there laughing....just laughing at nothing and then we were talking about i can't remember what and my friend hols says : i remember at Greenday and i was holding the lighter and swaying..
then ollie says: u didnt have a lighter!!
and hols says: oh yeh!! it must have been the man infront of me!!
haha funny times!!
and heres another one....where i was being reli stupid:
emma: omg!!! we've just booked a holiday to new york!!
Me: oh reli?? wow!!!! ur so lucky!!
emma: yeh i know!! i can't wait!!
me: omg ur guna come back with a tan and everything!!
emma: ermm yeh maybe
me: um...where is new york? wait...its in america init?
and she just stared at me
emma: err yeh duur. why where did u think it was??
me: umm spain!
haha |
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billowsweetie
Advanced Member
    
United Kingdom
16591 Posts |
Posted - 29/01/2007 : 16:42:22
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Today we were doing sex ed and we had cups of liquid that were supposed to be 'bodily fluids' (we had to go round and mix them with other people which was symbolic of having sex and see who got the most STDs or something stupid like that).
Verity: (knocks cup over) OH SH'I'T, I spilled my sperm!
That was a stupid exercise anyway. We wanted to exchange tips and stuff. |
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silver ribbons
Senior Member
   
United Kingdom
1880 Posts |
Posted - 30/01/2007 : 14:06:19
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"The mould in my ceiling is my fault."
Nick today, not even in any sort of context. |
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ParalysedSleep
Advanced Member
    
United Kingdom
3068 Posts |
Posted - 30/01/2007 : 21:19:56
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My sister whilst watching television just now:
"Oh my God! That woman has the same toe as me!"
She was deadly serious too [B)] |
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thechickenhouse
Advanced Member
    
Australia
22313 Posts |
Posted - 31/01/2007 : 11:17:42
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Tonight was a good night.
One of our friends got anew job at a cafe, and she's only worked there for a week, so 13 of us went there for dinner and took up the big table and embarressed her, because she was our waitress.
Eileen: I had this weird dream about Kealey (girl from our school) working in a bakery... Steph: Ahh, the old erotic bakery dream Eileen: WHAT?? Sinead: Would you like to powder my buns?? Ginny: Or ice my cake?? Me: Butter my scone?? Eileen: SHUT UP Steph: What are you guys on about?? Ginny: Uhh Steph, you were the one who said "erotic bakery dream" Steph: REALLY?? I thought I said it in my head...
*Eugene and David are talking quitely to each other* Eugene: AND HE BEAT HIM UP!! Steph: What?? David: Dont worry, long story, people you dont know, they got into a fight Steph: No-one has ever beaten me up Me: If you burp in my ear again I will Steph: REALLY!! WOW!! can you do it today??
*Steph works at a stationary store, where they sell a product called 'boy clips' which are bascially bulldog clips shaped as boy paper dolls* Steph: This chick came in today and went on and on about how they dont sell girl clips Eileen: Well, the pink one could be a girl clip Steph: But it has legs Eileen: Oh so what, girls dont have legs?? Me: Clearly we float instead of walk Steph: No, I meant it would have a skirt Eileen: Hey Sinead, do you have legs?? Sinead: Huh?? What?? Yeah.... Eileen: Youre a man Sinead Sinead: WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT TO ME??
Ginny: Who else is doing a maccas run?? Sophie: We just ate at a cafe and youre doing a maccas run?? Eileen: Yeah, caramel sunades Rachel: But its wednesday
*Eileen has just knocked Steph's glass of water on Eugene* Eugene: Seriously, calm down, does water excite you that much?? Ginny: Nah, bakeries do it for Eileen Steph: Why would bakeries excite Eileen?? Me and Barbarella: OH MY GOD STEPH |
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x.Dance.x
Junior Member
 
United Kingdom
332 Posts |
Posted - 31/01/2007 : 16:55:58
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My boy mate today in science was just copying down some stuff from the board and under his breath was saying : "Ollie's a beeee, a busy beeee..." I don't know why but I found that really funny lol. |
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