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Hi! I'm Dr Petra.
I'm a psychologist based at University College London and I research sex and relationships. Fire away and ask me what you need to know. Don't be embarrassed - I'm here to sort out all your awkward, personal, and just plain confusing problems |
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| Hi.
I'm 13, and so far have never had a boyfriend. Pretty much all of my friends have/have had a boyfriend and I feel left out.
I really like this guy from school, but he's a year younger than me.
We talk alot and hang out in the school library cos we both love reading and stuff.
I just don't know what to do. I don't know what to do cos we are pretty good mates but I'm scared that if I say anything it will get a bit weird between us, cos I'm not sure whether he likes me in the same way.
Pleeaassseeee help me.
Yours,
Anonymous
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| First of all don’t feel you have to do what your friends have done. Chances are many of them also don’t have boyfriends but are making out they are just to fit in. There are lots of good reasons to be in a relationship – like enjoying being with someone or fancying them. But having a boyfriend to avoid feeling left out is not a good idea since you may end up with someone who’s not right for you. It’s much better to believe in yourself and enjoy being confident and single than to settle for anyone – and that will be the same for you whether you’re 13 or 30. If you like the lad from school you don’t have to do anything major about it. You can continue enjoying being with him and perhaps suggest meeting up to do something different – for example if there’s a film about a book you like you could ask him if he wants to go see it with you (if you think that’ll be okay with your folks and his). There is a risk of spoiling a friendship if you tell him you like him and he doesn’t feel the same, so you may want to decide if it’s worth the risk. The bonus is if he does like you and you tell him how you feel then you can enjoy being together. If he doesn’t feel the same at least you find out sooner rather than later. But before then also work out whether you like him because he’s cute, or because you want to fit in with your friends. If it’s the latter then just enjoy having a friendship with him and feel confident that you can wait until someone who you really fancy comes along. |
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