| Agony Aunts are usually supposed to tell you to respect your parents, and I’m not going to say any different. But I am going to disagree with them as sex most definitely is not sinful. At 16 you are over the age of consent and you are well within your rights to now begin a sexual relationship should you wish to do so.
However, if you have been raised to feel sex is sinful or bad you may find it difficult to start on a sexual relationship without talking first to your boyfriend. I would explain to him that you may want a sexual relationship in the future, but then let him know the things that are worrying you.
You should have sex because you really want to do it – because the idea of sex arouses you and because you fancy your boyfriend. If you don’t feel these things it may not be the right time (and it may take a while if you’ve been told bad things about sex).
Before you do have sex I would also sort out contraception. Talk to someone at your local family planning/reproductive health clinic or Brook www.brook.org.uk.
Part of a good and strong relationship is the ability to communicate, so sharing your thoughts now is only going to help in the future. You should not feel bad or ashamed, but you should feel proud to be thinking about what it is you want from a relationship – specially if you’re able to share those thoughts and feelings with your boyfriend.
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