Case study: Lonely
Hi! I'm Dr Petra.
I'm a psychologist based at University College London and I research sex and relationships. Fire away and ask me what you need to know. Don't be embarrassed - I'm here to sort out all your awkward, personal, and just plain confusing problems
Your Question
hi, I'm 16 years old and have been with my loving boyfriend of 18 for almost 2 and a half years. Me and my boyfriend are much in love and always talk about the future. The thing is, i really want to have a baby. i have always wanted a baby and hope to have many. when one of my best mates fell pregnant and had a beautiful baby girl, i couldn't resist and now all i long for is one of my own. i know my parents wouldn't agree at first but they would love me and the baby unconditionally. would this be a wise choice or should i just wait?
Dr Petra's Response
I would definitely say wait. Babies are wonderful, cuddly, gorgeous things. They also deprive you of sleep, get in the way of your social life, and always have to come first. If you have a baby now you may miss out on many opportunities – education, travel, work, socializing. It may be you resent the baby in the future or find it difficult to cope.

There are definite advantages to being a young mum – you tend to have more energy, are fitter and can give a lot to your baby. Many girls your age are fantastic mums. However, I think most would agree once they’ve had a baby that if they could have had a couple more years to live their lives they would have done so.

It is tempting when you see a friend’s baby to want one of your own, but again if you talk to your friend she’ll probably tell you honestly that a baby is a wonderful thing – and something that will be one of the most tiring and hardest jobs you’ll ever do.

I can’t tell you what to do, but I would suggest leaving it a little while longer. Enjoy being with your boyfriend. Consider things you’d like to do alone and with him. See what opportunities you can take so that when you do have a baby you’ve a lot to offer him or her.

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Never had a boyfriend
Most of my friends have/have had a boyfriend and I feel left out. What do I do?

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Lonely
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