I'm an 18 yr old female who is very confused. I'm a virgin and have never actually had a relationship with a guy and the furthest I have gone is a kiss. All my friends have had sex or have boyfriends and I feel really left out.

I am ready 4 a relationship and sex but just can't find the right person. Plenty of boys talk 2 me about their girlfriends and say that they just tell girls whatever they want to hear. Also most boys around my area are criminals and do time in jail or are killed. This has what has happened to the past two people I have got involved with. This happened two yrs ago.

This upsets me and makes me not want 2 trust any1 because I am scared I will get hurt. Most boys I know just use girls 4 sex and many boys approach me in a way which suggests they want 2 use me. I am a person full of self respect and dont want to have n e regrets.

I know that if I can love some1, some1 must b able 2 love me but is that really true? r sum people just meant 2 b alone???

People r now confronting me asking y I don't have or boyfriend or y am I a virgin or am I gay!!! I am feeling very lonely and depressed and most of friends talk 2 me about their b/fs and dont ask about my love life!

Sorry the msg is sooo long but plz help!!!!!

You do also have the options of changing how you see things. You can accept you were hurt before and that relationships definitely do all carry with them the chance of being hurt again. But they also should carry with them pleasure, excitement, friendship and enjoyment. So if you continue to worry about the negatives you will hold yourself back from the positives. It may be a confidence or assertiveness course could help you with a more positive outlook, or it may just be that one day you feel more able to look towards a relationship.

If you are feeling lonely and depressed it will make it hard to get into a relationship (or certainly a relationship that’s right for you). Again, if this is a major problem ask your GP about the possibilities of counseling to help.

If people ask about why you’re single you can say you’ve not met the right person yet. It’s fine to be choosy. That’s not to say if friends are trying to fix you up with someone that you don’t give it a go (so long as you like the person concerned). You can take relationships at a pace that suits you, and you can decide if you want to continue seeing someone or not.

It is difficult to resist peer pressure, and hard if you feel you’re the only one not in a relationship. But better to be single while you sort your confidence out rather than settle for someone who’s not right for you.

Finally, while you are making yourself feel better and stronger look to places where you might meet other people. Outside your area would be a good bet so it might be worth considering what hobbies or interests appeal to you and find places away from your area that offer those so you can mix with new friends, enjoy yourself, and in time meet people on your wavelength who you might enjoy seeing a bit more of.