I started college in September and now I feel I have settled in well, but after the first few weeks I began to fancy this guy and still do although I don’t think he feels the same. Two weeks ago another guy asked me out and I turned him down, because I am still hooked on the other guy, and I didn't physically fancy him I just liked the attention he gave me. Now this guy is acting all weird with me and doesn't talk 2 me the same. I feel bad and am also in two minds of asking him out but I can't work out if its just because I like the attention I get. Is it a bad idea to ask him out, and does the way I feel make me a bad person? Did I do the right thing?

Charlotte

I think that you have to think really hard about whether you actually like this guy or not. It seems to me that you don’t have true feelings for him. If you don’t find him physically attractive, then the likelihood is that the relationship wouldn’t last. If you went out with him, and led him to believe that you really liked him, he would be even more hurt if you broke up with him. I think that if you are going to ask someone out, you have to be absolutely sure that you really like them. If you have doubts, I wouldn’t do it. Plus even if you went out with him, you’d still have the feelings for the other guy you really like. The fact that you’re thinking about asking him out because you feel sorry for him shows that you have good intentions, and that you care about his feelings, but unless you really like him in a boyfriend way, I think it would be a mistake.

Love Tom